So last Sunday and Monday I attempted to take my life and reorganize it onto paper. I thought to myself-- if I stick to this paper, I can balance. I also thought, if I remember God, it may even feel good.
First the good moments--
In moments of good pondering and remembering God, and also talking with stellar friends I felt like life is good.
I am always trying to say this, but it hasn't come out this way.
Life isn't perfect, but it is oh so good. I am really, truly happy. I have my reasons, all of which may or may not be boring to you. I am going to list the things that make my soul sing.
My. Husband. Rocks. He is there for me. He is righteous. His heart is HUGE. He listens. He laughs. He watches all my favorite shows with me. He loves me. I love him.
I have amazing friends, and between all of them-- I can bare my soul in chat, I can inflict my kids on them with hardly any notice if I am not feeling well, I can make them let me borrow their kids so my children can have some fun times at our house, I can laugh and have girl nights or shop shop shop. I haven't always had that and I know what it does for me.
I have soft, cuddly children who smile and have eyes that light up in special ways only for me. That makes my heart full to bursting!
I have a body that can still cook up some rockin food, and I sure do love rockin food. Oh yes.
I have a Heavenly Father who loves me.
I have a charmed life. It is absolutely wonderful.
Not perfect-- and I deal with some of the not perfect things on this blog. But wonderful. Truly wonderful.
So this week I found myself expressing some of these good things to myself and others and that was fun!
Now-- For the bad.
I am not very good at obeying a schedule. Nope. But I did my best. I brought my children each afternoon to a friends house, and most days I came home and took a nice nap. But two of the days I had unavoidable doctor appointments during "nap time". Also, I found myself feeling like a failure if I had sick mornings that sucked away the precious hours of awake time with time spent... I will spare you the gory details, but I was sick every morning this week except yesterday. We missed a dentist appointment for all three boys. Bummer. I would watch the clock inching towards "nap time" and I would feel like a failure for not doing the things on my list which really needed to be done.
So, I need to remember flexibility and forgiveness for myself. I am not who I want to be. I do not accomplish all I want to accomplish. My house is currently not clean. My floors are a mess. (I hate mess on my floors).
But-- We had a really good dinner last night. We also had a really tasty dessert that my boys have been eating and loving the past few days. I had a girls night this past week. My boys enjoyed one of the last weeks of summer because of playing and swimming with friends every afternoon this week. I laughed and talked with my husband after the kids were in bed many nights this week because I was rested from the breaks I had from the kids every day. Life is so good. Why should I complain about my imperfections when life is so good? Why should I ever be hard on myself for things out of my control when I am doing my absolute best? Another good thing that came out of this week is I can look back and know I gave my absolute best. I was watching the clock. I worked when I was well enough. I tried to rest during resting times. I gave life my all this week.
What more can I ask of myself?
The mission this week-- forgive and forget.
I have a few other thoughts too. Another post for another day.