I want to write, but my thoughts feel like they are stumbling on 'shoulds' and stuff - what I should say, how I should say it, what other people want, how I can get across my message so it is perceived the way I intend... What should matter to me... What should be important enough to write about... What is even worthy of being glanced over by some other reader...
What could I - a simple, stay-at-home mom, with no large resume to show - have to offer any one else? Nothing. Nothing I could possibly offer is worthy, or is going to end world hunger or anything. I think that is why it has taken so long for me to post my first post here. There are so many women and men out there who are more interesting, more witty, with deeper experience, with greater passion and drive for what they do, education up the wahzoo, and I have so much to learn from them. So why should I put my two cents anywhere?
And my answer is, cuz I want to, that's all. And I need to. Yes, need. It just can't sit inside me forever, I'm sorry, or something would explode. There is this urge for me to just write, whether anyone reads it or not, ya know? Putting my thoughts out onto a public space is risky - it is taking that risk of being rejected, defeated, argued against, belittled or shamed because of thoughts, feelings, or perceptions I may have. But it is liberating, too. It is liberating because it is like saying, 'I face this possible rejection head on, fearlessly'! And you lay it all out on the table to be either savored and gobbled up, or butchered and thrown to the dogs.
But in the end it doesn't matter if someone likes it and someone doesn't. What matters is that it gets outside of me. So here is my beginning on Utter It. Get ready for some quirky stuff, guys. You're getting the whole gamut of: me.