Sheesh. Another dream? Well, okay.
I am just going to jump into it.
It was of course very weird.
For one, I was playing softball. Yeah. That's never going to happen in real life.
For two, I only knew two people I was playing with. My dad was there. My wonderful husband was there. And then there were all these random young kids.
Yep. Me against the kids. You know.
Anyways, I was watching other players on my team come up to bat and get on base. The bases were loaded. Our team hadn't scored any runs. Then, someone gets up to bat and hits a homer. But not one person remembers to run. They are all looking elsewhere and just generally not paying attention. So we lose our opportunity to score. In the dream, I was so disappointed. I found myself yelling out- "Run!" in a very impatient and frustrated manner. I was extremely irritated with all the slackers. ;).
Eventually the dream cuts to me getting on base myself with the bases loaded.
And guess what happened? (I am sensing a THEME) I was suddenly overcome with exhaustion. I laid my head right down on that base and couldn't get up because I just so tired. Then, lo and behold, someone hits a homer, and all I do is lay there. I couldn't get up. (Just like so many mornings in my pitiful real life)
And then-- you'll never guess.
The rest of my tiny team mates started yelling at me to run. But I just couldn't.
A few days after this dream I was thinking. It was Sunday. I arrived at church late. But I was there. My wonderful husband and I have discussed how it seems I am well for more hours of the day when I sleep in. I slept in, and my family drove on without me to be on time and I came late in a separate car. (Next time I will wake up half an hour earlier...) So anyways. I got to church and saw another church member arriving at the same time.
My thought when I saw him was, "Why is he late? I mean, what's so hard about arriving on time??"
I remembered my dream suddenly and felt so dumb.
Okay-- after thinking of my dream for a few days, I saw that it would be good for me to think about the way I react to decisions other people make. Yes, the kids were not thinking about the game, so we didn't score any runs. Yes, I was too tired and worn down to get up and run.
But I really didn't want people to judge me. They didn't really know my situation just like I didn't know theirs.
It made me think about how I should never judge another person harshly. I don't know what they are going through just like they don't know what I am going through.
I need to remember how I would just want someone to treat me with kindness. To not make me feel badly. To not make me feel stupid or worthless because of they way my actions affected others.
So on Sunday, I saw how the way I react and judge others can affect their feelings. And I don't ever want to make someone feel worthless or sad or judged ever again. It doesn't matter why that guy was late. I was late too. Can't we all just get along? Can't we all just love each other?
What I am really saying is---
Can't I just love others? Can't I just treat others the way I want to be treated?
This sickness is teaching me a lot.