Thursday, July 26, 2012

Did You Know?

Did you know, that if your kids want to be in a parade, there is a way to call up some of their friends and make that happen?  Oh yes.  You can decorate their bikes, scooters, really any contraption with wheels with streamers or balloons (or both), you can turn up the music really loud in your car, and you can follow as every one rides or pushes their contraption around the block and your kids will Totally feel like they have been in a parade.

In fact, your kids and those friends will feel glorious afterwards.  What?

I just love the way summer inspires me to slow down and take time to create magic for my kids.  It isn't even hard.  That suprised me.  I thought it would be harder. 

 I feel that deep down, I am a really terrible mother.  I think I live in fear of that being true.  Every day I look in the mirror, second guessing all of the decisions I make for my children.   I wonder to myself, "Am I doing it all wrong?  Do I really have any idea of what I am doing?  Is that seriously a cobweb in my BLINDS?"  The thing is, I really really want to do it right, and I live in fear that I am doing it wrong.  Not just a little bit wrong either, like, psychological damage ruined life wrong.  Sheesh I need more medication.

I think there is a point to this.

On days like the Parade Day, as I sit around the dinner table and hear the kids tell thier father with shining eyes that mom made a parade and they were in it, I feel deep down inside that maybe I did something right.   I like that feeling and I try to repeat that feeling as often as possible.

And don't try to tell me I am a good mom.  We don't really know each other well enough for you to do that.  I think what I really wonder is-- do other mom's share my fear?  Or am I the only one who feels, "God made me a mom and I am sure it is a joke he's playing on me most of the time."

Oh yes, God has a sense of humor.  Don't ever doubt it. 

If you do share that fear with me, what do you do to combat it?  A parade?  Maybe?

I feel like reading books to my children at night is a good mom thing too.  I always feel like, "Man, I am an awesome mom.  I like, read to my kids.  Whew!"  Isn't that funny?  When we all sit down at the table for dinner at the same time, I feel pretty darn awesome too.  Oh- family home evening is another one.  If I am doing family home evening, I totally have an I'm a terrific person moment.  What are your moments?  Tell me tell me.


Josie said...

I feel it when eeeeevery once in a while, David will unexpectedly give me a big hug and tell me he loves me. A mom that teaches her kids that is doing SOMETHING good, right? I think most, if not all of us, are stuck in this mostly perpetual identity crisis where we are just too hard on ourselves because we are driven to be better people, and as mothers, it's really only these moments that tell us whether or not we are doing it right.

Bench Family said...

I totally get what you're saying. I'm always feel like I'm coming up a bit short in the mom department. You need to listen to Hillary Weeks' song "Who You Are". I have that one on repeat these days. The moments I feel like I might be doing something right are actually just when my children are getting along. When I have those moments where I realize they actually love eachother.

Utter Girl said...

I like your thoughts Josie. If I only listened to the thoughts in those moments- I would feel better.

That is totally a good one! When my kids love eachother I feel like a million bucks! I totally forgot that I love that song-Amy

CandiShack said...

Jeff and I were just having a conversation about this tonight. He said, 'I think you worry too much about the future - like you think you're going to screw up our kids so bad'. And I do! I worry that the way I respond to them or the way I discipline them will somehow make them feel like they are not a good person, and then they will go on to do who knows what...

The good moments, though, are when we go to the park all together. Everyone is happy. ;)